Monday, August 27, 2012

Summer Lovin'

Hi everyone that actually reads my blog J It’s good to be back. I’ve quite literally been too busy to get on here. I know everyone says that while eating a goodie and watching tv, but the honest truth is, I have not felt like I can breathe all summer. I think a lot of it has been the mental coping with all the changes happening, events being planned, and the kids to take care of. I think most people would look at my problems and see only pink lollipops, but for me, it’s been stressful. But, I am starting to feel the light touch my face at the end of this tunnel we called Summer.



To begin, Owen took Jessica to the Princess Ball. It was amazing. Jessica got all dolled up in her ball gown she picked out. The funniest part to me is, when she talks about her dress, does she say, “hey I got this beautiful Rapunzel dress!”? or “Hey I have a sparkley ball gown!!” ? …… NOPE. She says, “yeah I bought my dress at City Creek. Lol. That is her claim to status. Her “city creek” dress. She’s so freakin’ adorable.





So Owen took her to the ball and I took her to the Princess Festival. She got to meet the princesses and we did crafts and got her hair done at the end (which I had to re do because the chick straightened the curls she had and her hair looked fried…..but Jess didn’t notice ;)

The ball was Enchanting! Jessica says her favorite part was dancing with daddy on his feet because her toes were bare. She couldn’t walk in her heels for too long that night. I know that it was a very special memory for Jessica with her dad. I’m so glad we could make that happen for her.

For our One Year Anniversary, Owen and I decided to go up to the North Fork of the Duschesne River. My family camped up there for years. It’s a second home for me with how familiar it is. I can sit on that river and all the smells and trees and life out there just engulf me to help me remember my roots. I loved taking my disc-man (yep, that’s right….) out with me when I would hike up the side of the canyon. I would feel so much peace as I put my two favorite things together…Nature and Music. That’s happiness right there. By the end of the trip, my dearest friend and husband told me he would absolutely love to go back there and he wants to show it to the kids. That made me so happy. He felt the magic J








We played a game on our anniversary when we drove into Hanna. We decided that since we didn’t have gifts for each other, we would go into the country store (glorified gas station market) and pick out something for each other. Owen had to stay in the truck while I picked his gift and vice-versa. For Owen, I picked a new knife for his tackle box. Owen picked me out a hoody with the name of the nearby ranch on it. Beautimous J It was fun!









This year, instead of going to Bear Lake with the family, Shannen and Ben suggested we switch it up and try out Lava Hot Springs. Admittedly, we were skeptical. All we heard about it was there was a community pool and a river you can tube down. Being that we have a ton of pools here to choose from and we felt the kids were too young for tubing a river, Owen and I were not sure how we felt about this trip. But, we decided to put our game faces on and ride the wave to see how it went. No matter what, we will always come to the family trip, even if we have to sit out some events because the kids can’t participate.

Luckily, the trip turned out to be a blast! Granted, our tents were in a campground that I would never repeat……(RIGHT next to a train track that blew it’s horn ALLLLLL night. About every 30-40 minutes and it would blow for about 3-5 minutes each time). Needless to say, momma didn’t sleep too well…..which lead for a bit of a cranky Saturday start. BUT, we went to the pool and the kids had a great time!

Sunday, we headed up to the river. Owen, myself, Brandon and Ben road the river with Ben as the guide. It was extremely fun! After being convinced, we decided to put the kids in life jackets and put them in the center of the 4 man tubes holding on around my neck. They giggled with sheer delight the entire way. Jessica laughed her face off whenever Owen would get splashed and cold. Lol. She loved it! Mitchell was more hesitant from the start, but by the end, he was fighting with Jessica for turns to go next. The river really doesn’t ride much faster than rattle snake rapids at Lagoon and as long as either Owen or I were there, the kids were great.J They loved spending time with their cousins and grandma! J

On August 7th, Jessica turned 8. Unbelievable! I know that it’s to be expected and time keeps moving so why would I be surprised…..but seriously…when the crap did she grow up! I met Jessica when she was 4. Mitchell’s current age.  I remember sitting on her bed at night, talking about stars and the fly away horse (a character in one of the songs I sing at night). She would tell me about her daddy and her mommy and her doggies like Abe. Owen and I were barely dating. I was terrified of entering the realm of parenthood because I didn’t have children of my own yet. I have never wondered if I would ever be a parent. I came from a loving and wonderful set of parents that cared about me and loved me. Did they have their faults? Sure. But I never questioned their love for me, or their standards in life. My background is solid enough that I knew I wanted children. I have always known I would have children. But I always pictured marrying a man and embarking on the journey of children together. Hearing the heartbeat of our first child together, seeing the creation of our families combined in a tiny beautiful being together. I never thought I would learn parenting backwards with children that were not biologically my own. But one night, this four year old little girl, with her big beautiful brown eyes laid in the groove of my shoulder and between songs looked up at me and said, “will you be my other mommy?”. The thought brought tears to my eyes that a 4 year old could ever grasp the concept. But for Jessica, it was never the words my “new” mommy or “replacement” mommy. It was my “other” mommy. Her capacity for love is so large. Her heart is so big. She has always known she need never choose between, but just grow her heart bigger. She loved me. Her love gave me a sense of confidence I did not have before. This four year old girl taught me that no biological connection was necessary to truly love each other as mother and child. I froze her in my mind at age 5. Granted, she is a skinny little thing. She is barely moving into a size 7 in her clothes…and that is a 7 slim! But her demeanor is changing. Her face, her grip on reality, her functionality and her spirituality have all been growing exponentially over the past few years. I am so proud of her. Of the levels of love she can give, the maturity she has shown in recent events emotionally and in the example she sets for her brother. He watches her carefully, and follows so much of her lead.









For her party, we did a pool party at Alta Canyon. I have to say it was the greatest success thus far for birthday parties on my part. I seem to get stressed out pretty easy when planning these things. I worry about the other families coming, if they will like the activities planned or be irritated with the environment for their children. I also want to make sure it’s not too expensive but something the kids will really enjoy doing on their birthday.  I found last year, that when I made a dragon cake for Mitchell, it turned out alright. So for Jessica, I decided to attempt a stacked castle cake. I was relatively proud of the outcome J
However, if I could do it all over again, I would make the layers more on top of each other to keep the cake from leaning. I’m not savvy on supports and structures in cake building. Perhaps I should take a class ;)
I also tried the Pinterest idea of making the balloons look like lollipops. That was pretty fun! They drooped a little through the day but I got lots of comments.
For my last birthday trick, I made faux gumball machines! I have to toot my own horn on this one. They were fun, inexpensive to make, and came out awesome!  Jessica really liked them too!

 

Now for the MSG additives. The stuff that has been causing my arteries to clog up and stress me out!

Everyone I tell we are buying a home to, either says, “oh isn’t it fun!!” or says, “really??....” followed by a lot of questions and criticisms to make sure we “know what we are doing”. Both…drive me crazy. I’m aware this is a problem on my end. Mostly. ;)

The process of buying a home has been…..tiring. Best word I could think of for it. It began with the budget plan. We originally didn’t think we had the credit or debt to income situation to qualify for a home loan. However, our biggest goal in living at Owen’s mom’s house for the past year has been to pay off Owen’s debt. (My debt is too large and crappy because of my ex-husband’s bankruptcy situation. We will most likely have to bankrupt my history and start from scratch). Anyway, we have successfully paid down most of Owen’s debts. When we realized we increased his credit score so much that we qualify for one of the best rates in town, we decided to take the plunge and start home shopping. I have been internet scowering, driving through neighborhoods, asking everyone I know and checking every opportunity I could find to see new homes on the market. We wanted to build our down payment and THEN shop, but this plan changed a bit. What started as “just looking for informational sake” turned into actual shopping because Sharon decided to list her home. In truth, it’s about time. She needs to sell that home. It will be the best thing that could happen to her and those boys to move out and have them start living on their own. Healthy, in my opinion. Just bad timing for Owen and I. We literally are at the finish line. Anyway, it forced us to speed up the process and start making offers, even though our down payment is not completely ready. Week by week I have been hoping we can scrimp more time to gather our down payment but week by week I have been hoping we find the “right one” so we can just get into it! Talk about mixed emotions. We found a realtor in our searching…..and regret a little bit how that has gone down. I feel I have been doing the work. He kept sending us homes that we would never even consider that had nothing we wanted. Finding a home can really turn into a full time search! Very frustrating! There is nothing worse than knowing who you are, then being told by someone else who you should be or how you should think….Owen and I both feel a little irritated with this process and how not a lot of people have faith in us. We know how it looks. I was living with my parents. Owen was living with his mom. We got married and kept living there. We pay child support and still have to buy the food, activities and supplies for the kids when they are at our house separate from the money we pay for child support. We are strapped. BUT, I have worked it out and with our income, we can get a decent home and still afford our lives. And when I say decent, I mean it. Owen and I are not newlywed children. This isn’t our first rodeo. We, unfortunately, just have to start back at scratch and move up because of our histories. But we will do it. I have all the confidence and faith in the world that this will work out.

We have found a home we love but it’s still in the works so I am not going to report on it yet. I would hate to put it on my blog and then regret that decision if things changed. So….stay tuned!

So there are only two major events left before I feel like my breath can come back. 1. Jessica’s Baptism and 2. Moving into our first home together.

The baptism is this Saturday September 1st. The planning and stressing about this occasion has been intense, but I think it will pay off and be a beautiful event. Barb and I have been doing very well on our relationship lately and have been working very hard together to pull this baptism off where we hope  it will be incredibly special for Jessica. I’m so excited that she is going to wear the dress I wore when I was baptized. My sister’s wore it as well and their daughters will also wear it. I made Jessica a book for her baptism as well. I hope she will use it and keep it forever to remember the beautiful feeling of this huge moment in her life. And the best part is, Owen gets to baptize and confirm Jess. This is such a great moment for Owen. We have worked so hard for the past two years to really change our lives around and bring back the spirit in our lives, our home, and for our family. I am so proud of the path we are going and know that it can only get better from here :)

 

 

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