So can I just say, I hate healthy living. Don't get me wrong, I like to feel healthy and happy like anyone else, but the effort that goes into it for some of us is ridiculously difficult and tiring.
I met a girl once that told me some people can just never be thin. They are born fat and will always be fat. I'm unsure what her credentials were but I'm gonna go out on a limb here and call her an idiot. What I have found in my travels and long aged wisdom (jokes) is that in the end it all comes down to math. If you understand the fundamentals of your body and the function of the metabolism as well as your immune system then you should be able to come up with the correct equation for finding the correct habitual program to keep you a healthy weight and living style.
HOWEVER, this is not what this blog today is about. While yes, I have proven the mathematical equation to be correct ( I lost 35lbs in 2012 counting my calories and working out steadily) I have to admit that it's not the math that suffers for me in keeping me from being healthy. It's the freakin habits.
Yes, I lost 35 pounds. Yes, I kept it off for a year. No, I have not kept up on that and I have gained back a that and then some this year (2014). WHY? .... well I'm glad you asked.... the honest answer? Hormones. Seriously. Seems unfair really. I had my IUD removed in January. I have had one in since I was 20. then I put one back in in May. Then took it out again in August. My health and weight have fluctuated drastically due to this instability. The definition of why all the IUD changes and personal health issues gets a little too personal for me to want to discuss on this blog, however I will say, it was necessary at the time. Despite the horrible repercussions it has had on my body. Perhaps those situations will be an occasion on another day for a new blog post :P
I cannot always blame my weight gain through the years on my hormonal levels, however. So then why does my body fluctuate larger numbers each month/year on the scale? I have no idea. Because it sucks? Because it's hard and because every day doesn't equal a strong willed always motivated day for me? I know I am not alone in this predicament. I know many understand what I'm talking about. But for once, this misery does not want company. I see others that have honed in the talent and gift for creating healthy living styles as a constant for themselves. Others we blame it on genetics and say they are just "naturally skinny". Which is a real thing. My step-daughter Jessica has this gene. But for me, someone considered "average" by all accounts physically, it takes some serious effort. All day every day. The only way I will ever be a size I am proud of and remain healthy is to work out, count my calories and watch the times I eat and my portion control.
Because I have done this once, I keep thinking I can do this again. That it will just take some serious discipline and that "Today is the Day!!"......(she says while eating a peanut m&m....).
This year, I have the cliche privilege of resolving to start over again on my lifestyle change. I refuse to call it a diet because, as I have said before, this is not temporary. This is a habit changer. Something I must change about my daily life. Forever.
Another aspect that complicates this effort is the other members of my home that I am responsible to buy groceries for. My husband's desires in the meal department are vastly different than mine. Owen wants to get down a few pounds too, but his motivation is very different. My children don't like any kind of exotic or strange food. They like food they can pronounce and see exactly what was used in making it. (spaghetti, chicken and rice, etc). This creates a huge problem when they request sloppy volcanoes for dinner ( sloppy joe meat poured over mashed potatoes in stead of on a bun) or any kind of pasta dish. I know what to do.... the knowledge isn't the problem. Portion control and counting the calories is how to negotiate that issue. But it's when I'm still hungry afterward and since those are some of my favorite dishes...I want more soooo badly.
It's the habit I have adopted of eating a bowl of cereal during a movie late at night or having some skittles during work at my desk. For some people, this isn't a big deal. For me, it's the difference of an array of pant sizes all up in my closet currently :(
Why do I write this today? Well it's New Years and the resolutions are jumping around the world like crazy. But this isn't really a resolution for this year. This is more like a 20 year resolution. Maybe 20 years from now, when I've been healthy for that long, I'll decide to take on something else like mountain biking or something. But until then, I think I will take one step in the right direction. Low calorie, healthier breakfast and lunch at work. Improving those meals, whilst vowing to not eat the snacks my co-workers bring in, will help me to at least start somewhere right?
Join with me, millions of overweight women and men alike. We are not alone. let's make this year better than last, and start a trend of good years to come. Years where swimming isn't coupled with shame and guilt. Where running a few feet because you're in a hurry to grab the elevator isn't accompanied by parts of your body jiggling that shouldn't. Where hoodies are worn for the comfort and logo, not to try and hide the shape of your midsection, and where pictures can be body shots, not just from the bust line up. Please people,... let's do it for the children ;)
